Heap Hot Coals

In a response elicted from my friend Mike's thoughtful post on rage I thought I'd share this.

This may sound jaded and cynical but I’ve almost completely given up on people being nice and well-mannered…especially if they’re young. However, I’m continually joyful when I find a few odd ducks out there whose parent’s must’ve beat some respect into them. Working in retail gives me more than my fair share to witness bad social behavior so when someone is gentle, well mannered, and friendly it REALLY sticks out. And you know what? It happens just enough for me not to completely give up and play their game.

Controlling my own rage is something else altogether. The other day I was particularly proud of myself for not getting nasty with someone who I really thought had it coming. He strolled by the information desk at our store and barked out “the music is really G-Damn loud!” He never looked at me and just kept on walking into the music section. My mind reeled…He could have asked in such a nicer way but instead, hostility. I turned down the music and called after him “is that better?” He grunted and still didn’t look at me. I felt cheapened and inferior…he wasn’t treating me with any human dignity at all. I seethed and went and got a drink. 45 seconds later I was still raging and really wanted to go and tell him how hurtful his actions were to me. I did something altogether different. I thought to myself “you want me to fade into the background while you stomp all over my world? No chance mister.” I hunted him down in the Blues section and…I gave him the absolute best customer service I could. I genuinely knocked myself trying to help him. I found him exactly what he was looking for and made a few recommendations of other music he might like. He loved it. And by the time I was done I didn’t even care what had happened before. By interacting with him I forced him to treat me the way that I wanted…humanely. I told a coworker that I killed him with kindness and “heaped hot coals on his head” and she looked at me blankly. Here’s a brief explanation on that concept quoted from:

http://christian-bible.com/Worship/Sermons/evil.good.htm

"If your enemies are hungry, give them bread to eat; and if they are thirsty, give them water to drink; for you will heap coals of fire on their heads, and the LORD will reward you." (Proverbs 25:21-22)

“This ancient teaching from Jewish scripture deserves to be heard today, because it tells us that we have the power of disarming our enemies by treating them as friends. Of course, being kind does not remove the weapons from the hands of our enemies, but it does remove their reason for seeing us as their enemy. This is what is meant in the scripture passage by the image of heaping hot coals on their heads. If we respond as neighbors, rather than as enemies, to those who fear us, their shame may burn away their anger and allow them to see us as neighbors.”

That is if they’re sober! ;-)